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Five Dollar Wrestling: Freight Train VS Big Donnie

Thoughts:

What a show, guys. For those of you who don’t know what Five Dollar Wrestling is, here’s the scoop: it’s a comedic wrestling promotion that prides itself on containing terrible wrestling at its finest. A number of the wrestlers (that word being used loosely) have horrible gimmicks, including blatant rip-offs of well-known personalities in the business…and you know what? That’s alright. Hosted/commentated by Colt Cabana and Marty DeRosa, 5DW promises a new way to entertain pro wrestling fans. To quote Freight Train, 5DW is “Wrasslin’ so good you gon’ get yo’ feet wet!”

The big story leading up to this iPPV was that Jake “Manscout” Manning had betrayed Freight Train and the 5DW fans at their Wrestlecon show, having had enough of a promotion that “ruined his life.” He vowed to make the next iPPV the worst one ever, by booking Freight Train against Big Donnie in a main event meant to be so terrible, 5DW could never survive. Based on how the iPPV ended, the future of 5DW seems to be unclear, but one thing is for sure: the spirit of Five Dollar Wrestling will live on…

5EVER…5EVER…5EVER…

Results:

Samoa Joey def. Green Machine

Raider Rock def. Psycho John & King Jeremy Snaker to retain the RCW American Title

  • Before the show, Raider introduced John & Jeremy as part of his “Raider Rock Corp.”

Triple Threat Hardcore Tag Match: IWA-MS team vs Burke County Boys vs Lil Donnie & JC Steele def. Burke County Boys and some team from IWA-Mid South

  • Mad Man Pondo refereed the match, to varying levels of success. At one point ejected one of the teams from the match. I don’t remember which ones.

Portland Phantom def. One Horned Liger

Johnny N-Word def. Waterboy

Dynomite & Prince Charming Chaz (Hip Hop Express) def. Red Solo Cup & Cornbread

Main Event: Big Donnie def. Freight Train to become the NEW (and according to Jake Manning, “the last”) Five Dollar Wrestling Champion

Jake Manning costs Freight Train the title, declares 5DW dead, Colt brings Jake back into the ring to get hit by Freight Train, show ends with the wrestlers of 5DW chanting “5Ever” (a tribute to Terry Funk’s “Forever” speech)

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